Dochainn Na Blàir Trauma Of War
by Gaelcelt
Summary: Slash. Merry and Pippin struggle to survive the separation near the end of the War, pressure from the War, Frodo's abandonment of them, all of the memories... the narration is in English, the dialogue is in Gaelic with English translations
1. Reluctance

These are first person views of Merry and Pippin as they deal with being separated, the war...and the memories of it after. What they think and speak aloud is in Scottish Gaelic, to add a bit of flavor to the story, since there are so many languages in the films. I just hope that it doesn't throw anyone off, or provoke any negative reaction with Gaelic speakers. Plus it features Pippin's song from the film. The events in here aren't completely accurate and the story is a bit mushy, just to let you know. 

A few words of warning: this is slash, which is gay romance (if you don't like it, then don't read it), with a bit of sensuality and violence, death too.

I own none of these characters or Lord of the Rings, but I'll survive knowing that they aren't mine. I'm not doing this for money; it's just for my personal pleasure and for your pleasure, I hope.

Dochainn Nam Blàir  
(Trauma of War)

Pippin:

"Merridh! Na fàg mi, ("Merry! Don't leave me,  
Le do thoil! Dè tha a' cheist?" Please! What's the matter?")

It was all my fault and I knew it. I had done something,  
Otherwise, Merry would not be so angry with me.

"Merridh, ma 's e do thoil e, ( "Merry, if thou please,  
Abair dhomh mar a tha ceàrr! Bruidh'nn dhomh, tell me what is wrong! Speak to me,  
Tha mi gad iarraidh! I'm begging thee!")

But he just stalked ahead of me with Gandalf, and when he  
Did look back, his face was twisted with a scowl.  
What had happened? I winced as memories washed over me...  
Gandalf falling at Khazad Dum...it was because of me.

"Th'e mo choire..." ("It's my fault...")

I'd said for days after. 'Twas all because I was, and still am, so  
Curious I always hear that it will be the death of us.  
I can't begin to say how much it hurts, and also when Gandalf,  
And even Merry(!), cut me down even further at today's meeting.  
Tears stung my eyes at the thought that my Merry, my love,  
He that had always loved and protected me, would be capable of that.  
I wanted to start crying, but I didn't dare in front of everyone else...  
Not even with Merry. We had to be strong...

Merry:

"Rach air falbh, Pippin. ("Go away, Pippin.  
Th'agad ri fàgail. Thou must leave.  
Nach eil thu gam thuigsinn?" Dost thou not understand me?")

I practically snarled these words at him. I reeled at the realization of what I  
Had done, but it was too late. And though I wanted to hug him and  
Apologize to him right then, I knew that I was forbidden to do so.  
He was my love, and I nearly died at the thought of the terrible pain that  
I had caused him.

"Tha mi 'n duilich, Pippin, ("I'm sorry, Pippin,  
Ach chan urrainn dhuinn bi còmhla a-nis." but we can't be together now.")

I whispered, though I know that he would not hear me. It was heartbreaking  
To hear him calling to me over and over, especially when I knew that  
I shouldn't go to him. But what could I do?

How could I tell him that Sauron thought that he had the Ring?  
He would be frightened and want me with him. I want to be  
With him terribly, but there is a War about to occur, and with  
Sauron tracking him, I must leave him...

Pippin:

"Merridh! Le do thoil, freagair mi! ("Merry! Please, answer me!  
Carson a cha bhruidh'nn thu dhomh?" Why won't thou speak to me?")

Would he not ever answer me? I had to run  
To him and grab him to get his attention.

"Pippin, leig mi rach! ("Pippin, let me go!  
Carson chan eil thu ga thuigsinn?" Why doth thou not understand it?").

He raised his hand, and I flinched, thinking that he would beat me...

Merry:

I will forever regret what I did. As I raised my hand up, I nearly  
Killed myself at the sight of Pippin cowering because of me!  
I let my hand down and grabbed him by the shoulders and said  
To him in a harsh tone, though I didn't intend it...

Pippin:

"Tha Sauron smaoineachadh gu bheil 'n fàinne agad, ("Sauron is believing that thou hath the ring,  
Agus th'agad ri fhàgail 'gus rach do Minas Tirith. and thou must leave and go to Minas Tirith.  
Bidh sinn air falbh bho gach eile, ma till sinn..." We will be away from each other, if we return...")

Though he'd but grabbed me, I felt that he had struck me  
With a stone. I was relieved that Merry had explained to me  
What was happening...but I hated the thought of leaving  
Him, even if it were but a little while, and if we returned...  
I winced, a hard knot forming in my throat, my heart  
Felt like it was being squeezed in a fist. I felt a rush of tears  
Sting my eyes. I wished that I was dead already, or that  
Merry was holding me, like he had done. But I knew that  
We couldn't...

Merry:

I will never forget the look on Pippin's face. I saw,  
As only I could, the tears shining in his eyes, ready to  
Spill over, his lip trembling...the whole of his face was  
Terribly pale. I was ill as it sunk in that I caused this.  
So terribly I wished to hug him and kiss his tears  
Away. But what would Gandalf, Aragorn, and the  
Others think? The thought of my sweet little  
Pippin crying because of me brought my own tears forth,  
Though I refused them to pass.

Pippin:

I was quiet the rest of the short journey to the  
Stables. As Gandalf and I rode off to Minas Tirith,  
I longed to look back, to try to see Merry one  
Last time. But I dared not. Suddenly, I felt it  
Stab at me. It felt like half of me had been  
Torn away. Weights anchored themselves to  
My heart, the knot in my throat tightened...  
More of my tears rushed forward, stinging even  
Harder. I nearly started sobbing, but with Gandalf  
And with a War ahead of us, I was forbade that.  
I screamed inside,

"O Mherridh, tha mi gad ionndrainn cheana! ("O Merry, I miss thee already!  
Cuin a dh'fhaiceas mi tu a-rithist a-chaoidh?! When will I see thee ever again?!  
Ma bidh mi gad fhaicinn a-rithist a-chaoidh... " If I ever will be seeing thee again...")

I had to keep it to myself if I was going to survive...  
If I would see Merry again...

"O Mherridh...!"

Merry:

Why didn't I at least tell him that I loved him?  
I saw him riding off into the distance, away from  
Me, and it was as if he was being buried. I longed to  
Be buried with him, but... I wanted to at least tell him  
That I was sorry and that I would go if I could.  
But what good would that have done? Would he have  
Been better off? I thought of the looming battle  
Ahead...of death...of Pippin among them, his sweet,  
Plump, rosy face white and pinched, his whole body gaunt  
And battered from the struggle...silent... his merry, bell-like  
Laugh never more to grace the air...  
I shuddered, trying not to cry.

"An toir mathanas thu dhomh a-chaoidh, Pippin?" ("Wilt thou ever forgive me, Pippin?")  
I thought.

I wanted to call out to him, to say that I was sorry,  
But it was no use. He was too far away.  
"Tha gaol agam dhut, Pippin." ("I love thee, Pippin.")

My words were unheard as the wind  
Carried them away... 


	2. Yearning

Pippin:

It was one of the worst moments of my life.  
I was so cold and afraid as I awaited what lay  
In store for me. The Steward of Gondor. He sat up there,  
High on a throne that would have been for the King.  
I shuddered in horror and disgust as I watched him eat.  
He was so big up there. I was nothing more than a Hobbit.  
I jumped when he addressed me,  
"Thu, an urrainn dhut seinn idir?" ("Thou, Can thou sing at all?")  
"Seinn. Ceart gu leòr ri mo dhaoine. Ach ("Yes. Well enough for my people. But  
Chan eil òrain matha againn do tallaichean mòra (we have no songs for great halls  
'Gus àmannan aingidhe..." (and evil times...")

"Carson bu chòir air d'òrain bi m�-iomchaidh ri mo ("Why should thy songs be unfit for my halls?  
Thallaichean? Seinn òran thugam." (Sing a song to me.")

He said, still eating...I sighed, not believing  
The pain that was in me. I wanted to be at home, with  
Merry's arms around me. I wanted him to love me  
Like he had before. But I sang anyhow, hoping that  
It would calm me...

Boe le henio (Thou must understand)  
E si car athad iyn (He does the duty of two sons now)  
Ane ah a phen (For himself; and for the one)  
I u athelitha... (Who will not return)

Tha dachaigh 'n dèidh (Home is behind)  
An t-Saoghal roimh. (The world ahead)  
'S th'ann mòran slighean ri gabh. (And there are many paths to tread)  
Tro dubhar, (Through shadow)  
Ri 'n balt na h-oidhch', (To the edge of night.)  
Gus an tha na reultan dealrach... (Until the stars are alight)

Ceò 'gus dubhar, (Mist and shadow)  
Neul 's dubhair... (Cloud and shade...)   
Thèid às uile... (All shall fade...)  
Thèid às uile... (All shall fade...)

He was listening, but eating still, and showed neither  
Emotion nor appreciation. It hurt so much. Thoughts  
Of Merry came into my mind once more. Finally, I  
Just couldn't hold anything back anymore. I sank  
To the floor, tears pouring down my face...

"O Mherridh, na fàg mi! Beir orm, ma 's e do thoil e... ("O Merry, don't leave me! Hold me, please...  
Fuirich leam..." (Stay with me...")

Merry:

It was the first night that we were ever apart since the Shire...  
The bed was so much bigger and colder without Pippin...  
I knew how miserable he must be out there, and more  
So, since our parting was so harsh... even now, alone, I was determined  
To be brave. I passed to the window...

Looking out at the night, I wondered where my sweet angel  
Was out there...all alone in his bed...

Pippin:

In my nightclothes, I gazed out towards Rohan, and caught sight of  
Mordor as I searched. It was so near now.

"Tha mi 'n dòchas gum bi Sam is Frodo ceart gu leòr." ("I hope that Sam and Frodo will be all right.")

I thought as the thought of them drifted past...but Merry...  
I missed him so much... would he survive...? Would I survive...?

Merry/Pippin:

Although I knew that we were so far apart, we seemed to hear each other in our minds... as though we could hear each other's thoughts...

-Tro dubhair, ch� mi thu... (Through shadow, I will see thee...)  
A leannain, tha sinn air leth à chèile... (Darling, we are separated from each other...)  
-Ach cha stàd an t-astar sinne, a rùin... (But the distance shall not stop us, love...)  
Tha 'n speur ceudna tharainn... (The same sky is above us...)

-Shearg ròsan air falbh... (Roses have withered away...)  
Tha 'n boladh bàis nas dlùithe, a ghaoil milis... (The smell of death is nearer, o dear love...)  
-Na smaoinich dhe. Smaoinich dhinn, còmhla 'rithist... (Think not of it. Think of us, together again...)  
Cha lorg thu mi marbh... (Thou shalt not find me dead...)

Carson a th'ann deuran (Why are there tears)  
Maiseachadh d'aghaidh? Na caoin, a leannain... (Adorning thy face? Do not weep, darling...)  
Bi treun. Cuimhnich gu bheil gaol agam dhut... (Be brave. Remember that I love thee...)  
Tha do ghuth anns a' ghaoth... (Thy voice is in the wind...)

-Tha thu cho fada bhuam...! (Thou art so far way...!)  
-Na d�chuimhnich gu bheil mi 'n-seo, a ghaoil... (Do not forget that I am here, love...)  
Cuimhnich seo: cha dean far an thèid thusa, (Remember this: no matter where thou wilt go,)  
M'aingeal, lorgaidh mi thu... (My angel, I will find thee...)

-Th'ann cràdh 'nam chridh', a ghaoil... (There's pain within my heart, O love...)  
-Cuimhnich an t-sonas gun do chodaich sinn... (Remember the joys that we have shared...)  
An àit' de fada, gu luath bith sinn dlùth... (Instead of far, we will soon be near...)  
Cuimhnich gun sàbhail e sinn... (Remember that he will save us...)

Though no arrow nor blade had pierced my body,  
I felt a raw wound in me, one that opened wider as I  
Thought about my love...my loss...my Pippin/Merry...

"Oidhche mhath, a leannan. ("Goodnight, darling.  
Bidh gràdh agam dhut gu bràgh..." (I shall love thee forever...")


	3. War and solace

Pippin:How will I forget the days that followed? I flinched at the Clamor of Ûruk-Hai roaring and snarling, swords ringing,  
Arrows whistling, warriors crying out in agony...  
My ears felt as though they would break or fall off...  
I fought my best, but I was no match for the Ûruk-Hai.  
I wished that Merry was with me, helping me fight,  
Just knowing that he was there...but to see him fall in battle...  
I could not have taken that...I'd done what I could with  
Gandalf, but I wasn't enough...with his help, I narrowly saved  
Faramir from being burned by his mad father... 

I still felt my grief at being separated from Merry... but I  
Forced it away this time.  
"Caoin nas fadalaiche, a Phippin!" ("Cry later, Pippin!")  
I told myself,

"Bidh 'n còrralach na do bheath' agad ("Thou shalt have the rest of thy life )  
Ri caoin...ma th'e ann idir..." (to mourn... if 't is there at all...")

Fortunately, I escaped my thoughts...  
Narrowly dodging an blades, arrows, and debris...

Merry:

"Th'agam ri bi làidir, bidh ann àm ("I must be strong, there will be time)  
Nas fadalaiche ri lorg Pippin." (later to find Pippin,")

I thought fervently as I tensed my body, ready for any  
Attack. I was glad that I was with Éowyn, for she was a strong  
Fighter and a good friend, so we'd look out for each other...  
But the Nâzguls were all around us in the battle... The Nâzgul Lord  
Was advancing onto the battle field, ready to attack the soldiers...  
I was petrified at the sight of this creature...and more so...  
He slew King Theoden! That did it...

I charged at the Nâzgul, swinging my sword with all my  
Might. Everything was a blur...I felt the blade pierce his armor...

... I was doubled up on the battlefield, afraid that someone would  
Trample over me...through my agony, I could hear Éowyn  
Shouting to somebody else, somebody who seemed to be wounded...

"Úye ni nér!" ("I am no man!")

She roared, followed by the  
Sound of a sword cutting through armor...a deep, raspy, piercing  
Roar filled the air before dying to a strangled croak and then  
To silenced...the Nâzgul Lord was dead by Éowyn...

Pippin:

So much destruction. I can't keep it from my mind still...  
But I can remember my joy, and horror, of finding Merry  
On the battlefield...I couldn't believe it! He was there...  
He was alive! Beside an Oliphaunt corpse...

I climbed over scattered weapons and debris to reach him.  
I cringed in horror at the sight of him. He was pale and  
Bloody from the fighting... I felt painful knots growing  
Tighter in my heart, my throat...I was afraid that he was dead...

"Merridh! Merridh, 's mise!" ("Merry! Merry, 'tis I")

But his eyelashes fluttered...tears poured forth down my cheeks...  
He was alive!

"'S e Pippin!"

-"Bha fios orm gun lorgadh tu mi..." ("I knew that thou would find me...")

He was groggy and weak, but he was alive...  
He was there, and that was all that mattered to me then.  
I hugged him eagerly. I missed him so much...  
"Gabhaidh mi cùram dh�ot, a leannan..." ("I will take care of thee, darling...")

Merry:

I was so happy that he was alright. He was crying...  
It was bittersweet to be held close to him;  
The joy of him holding me and the poignance  
Of his sobs. But I was with him again...

* * *


	4. Don't leave me

Merry: The Final Battle is etched in our minds... 

Pippin:

It was horrific and, yet, wonderful.  
Our forces had to form a distraction to  
Mordor's forces to buy time for Sam and Frodo...

Merry:

Pippin and I charged, with our warriors following...  
It was a blur. Nothing seemed real...

Pippin:

I heard metal whistle through the air as  
Shields splintered. If not for the weight  
Of my armor, I would have believed that  
This was just a dream... that I could just  
Wake up... but roars of anger and of pain  
Made it horribly clear that it was real...  
And where was Merry?

Merry:

I did my best to look out for Pip, but we  
Somehow got separated. In between dodging blades,  
I searched for him desperately...  
There he was! An Orc picked him up  
And threw him... I was horrified to see  
A mound of stone and metal right under him...  
I looked away... he squealed...  
I wasn't struck by anyone,  
But I felt the wind knocked out of me...  
That did it... I bolted for that Orc...!

Pippin:

I couldn't believe it! The tower where Sauron was resting was falling!  
At that moment, the eye exploded, sending a wave rushing in  
All directions!

Merry:

The Orcs were disappearing! Frodo had suceeded!  
But Mt. Doom... it was erupting!

Pippin:

_"FRODO!!!!!!!!!!!"_ I heard Merry screaming his name...  
Tears streamed down my face as I realized what was happening.

Merry:

I was so weak as they carried me into the houses of healing...  
I was awake, but couldn't focus...the pains of my ribs  
Made me wince, though I could not focus...

Pippin:

I wanted to die upon seeing Merry in the condition that he was in.  
My poor Merry, lying there, pale and cold as death...  
I whispered his name to him, hoping that he would  
Hear me. But he barely stirred.

"O Mherridh, a leannain, le do thoil...èirich suas..." ("O Merry, darling, please...wake up...")

I couldn't believe it. We had won the war...  
But it seemed that I lost everything...

I remembered all of the times that we had ran  
Dancingly through Farmer Maggot's fields,  
Triumphantly holding, and then fighting for,  
Stolen vegetables and fruit...Those days were  
Long gone...

"A Mherridh, iarr mi dh�ot...fuirich leam... ("Merry, I beg of thee... stay with me...)  
Na fàg mi an-seo...aonarach...O leannain, (Don't leave me here...alone...O dearheart,)  
Tha 'n t-eagal orm do mar a n� mi ma bàsaichidh (I'm so afraid of what I will do if thou wilt die...)  
Thu... dè dhèanas mi...?" (What am I going to do...?")

I hugged him as much as I could without  
Hurting him...if he could feel it... his face  
Was so pale...I wanted to stay there, with him... 

"B' àbhaist dhomh a bhith air ag èirigh ("I used to wake thee in the morning...)  
Thu sa' mhadainn...an dean mi e a-chaoidh 'rithist...? (will I ever do it again...?)  
O Mherridh, èirich suas, a ghràdh... (...O Merry, wake up, love...)  
A bheil thu a' cluinntinn mi idir...? 'S e, Pippin..." (Can you hear me at all...? It's, Pippin...")

He was still, silent...

"O Mherridh...!"

I wiped my face off on his shirt,  
Climbing into bed with him...I held and kissed him...  
Afraid to leave him...


	5. Relief

Merry:

I awoke in a soft bed. It was light. but where was I...?

"Fàilte dhan Taigh na Slànachaidh." ("Welcome to the House of Healing.")

I craned my neck up to see who it was...

"Gandalf?!"

"Is mise, a Mherridh." ("It is I, Merry.")

"Càit' a bheil...?" ("Where am...?")

"Fuist, Merridh. Freagairidh e ("Hush, Merry. It will be answered)  
Ann an àm. Bidh thu gu math luath." (in time. Thou shalt be well soon.")

Suddenly I remembered him...  
"Ach càit' a bheil Pippin?" ("But where is Pippin?")

A dreadful feeling sank into my gut...

"A bheil e...?!" ("Is he...?!")

He held up his hands to silence me...

"Tha e an-seo, a Mherridh. Tha e beò, ("He is here, Merry. He is alive,  
Ach th'e fo iomacheist umad." (but he's worried about thee...")

I sighed in relief...

Pippin:

I'd been told that Merry was awake. I cannot begin  
To say how happy that I was when I heard it.  
I had to see him. But not until he was better, the  
Healers had said. But I could wait no longer...  
"Ch� mi thu, a-nis agus a-nis a-mhàin..." ("I shalt see thee, now and now only...")

Merry:

"Uill amhairc. A Phippin, cha bu chòir ortsa bi ("Well look. Pippin, thou should not be  
suas fhathast! Th'e ro-luath!" (up yet! 'T is too soon!")

I heard Gandalf say. Pippin?! Where was he?!  
I looked about the best that I could.  
I nearly sobbed at the sight of him...

'T was a miracle that he had gotten here in the first place...  
His beautiful, scarlet hair was matted and in a tangled mess,  
He limped, dark circles surrounded his eyes, his clothes were  
Rumpled. He was clearly weak and exhausted...  
But he was alive. I hardly dared to breathe...  
He was beautiful...

"A Phippin!"("Pippin!") I cried out his name weakly...

Pippin:

He was so weak that he was little more than an infant...  
I was frozen to the spot at the sight of him, just as  
Weak as I was, but he was alive! He was so beautiful...  
I silently wept in relief. His fair hair and blue eyes  
Glowed when he saw me.

Gingerly, I began to make my way to him...

Merry:

I wished that he would be faster. I wanted  
To hold him, for him to hold me, but I knew  
That it was best for him to be slow, considering  
His condition... but he was there, and mine,  
And I was able to wait... I finally let myself cry...

Merry:

I heard Gandalf sigh and stand aside...

And felt two arms wrap around me...

I heard him gasp as I hugged him. I could have flown  
At that moment from joy. As weak as we were then, I  
Felt Pippin's arms wrap around me, holding on desperately.  
I knew that he was afraid to lose me again.

Pippin:

At last, he was with me again... I was so happy  
That I just began to cry... I couldn't speak, all  
That I could so was hold onto Merry. I felt his  
Shirt getting wet with my tears, his hands running  
Through my hair, down my back...it felt beautiful...  
I missed it so much- with him... big, warm, protective...  
Beside me, holding me, loving me...

Merry:

I cried with him, both of us sharing our grief...and joy...  
I'd missed the feel of him, how he nestled into me...  
Those soft, russet curls, emerald eyes, his soft, fair  
Skin, little hands...we cuddled together, there, on  
The bed...it was a dream come true...

At Gondor, we finally had our privacy. We were  
Overjoyed that Sam and Frodo were alright, and  
Especially since that blasted Ring was gone, and that  
Sauron and his forces were gone...

It was the night back in Rivendell that we rejoiced  
Our reunion...

Pippin:

Merry had gone out for a few moments, and I was tired.  
I decided to get ready for bed...

Merry:

I'd gotten back from Sam and Frodo's bedchamber  
When I heard soft rustling noises in our room. I opened  
The door a slight bit and snuck inside, knowing full well  
What Pippin was doing...

He hadn't heard me, thank goodness. I gasped at the sight of  
Him standing there. His beauty could always take my breath away...

There he was, his pale back taut with muscles from the journey...  
His once-slender arms were now thicker and stronger...  
His adorable little backside stood out all too appealingly in the shadows...

"Gabh mo leisgeul, a leannan." ("Pardon me, darling.")  
I said to him. He whirled around, startled.

Pippin:

I was horrified that somebody was with me while I  
Undressed. But my horror turned to relief when I saw  
Who it was...  
"Na dèan sin, a Merridh! Chlisg thu me." ("Don't do that, Merry! Thou hast startled me.")

He smiled.  
"Na buair, a ghaol, cha n� mi e a-rithist...Tha thu ("Don't worry, love, I won't do it again... thou art)  
Cho àlainn ri 'n t-àm nuair chadal sinn a' chiad..." (as beautiful as the time when we first slept...")

I felt myself blush mightily, happy that my love was with  
Me again, that he loved me just as fiercely as ever.

He came forth...and I fell into his waiting arms...

Merry:

His exposed body against mine thrilled me...  
He fingered the buttons on my shirt...  
Teasingly undoing them, while I writhed with desire...  
Quickly, we were down to nothing...

Rumpling the sheets, his warm body against mine...  
It was indescribable, passionate, intense...

Pippin:

He was so big and strong, yet so gentle...I gasped  
And moaned at his touch...he felt so warm...  
So beautiful...hugging, kissing, nuzzling, caressing...  
I pined so long for him to touch me again...

Merry:

Our skin moved like silk against one another...  
This dance that we had shared for so long grew  
Stronger and stronger each time...  
I shivered with each caress...

Pippin/Merry:

So sweet it felt to fall asleep in his arms again...

Pippin:

My face cradled to his shoulder... holding him to me...

Merry:

Feeling him cuddled up with me...

Merry/Pippin:

"Oidhche mhath, m'aingeal/a leannain."  
(Goonight, my angel/dearheart.")


	6. Nightmares and farewells

_"A Phippin, cha faod thu faic Merridh! Amhairc e! ("Pippin, thou may not see Merry! Behold him!)  
Nach eil urrainn dhut gun tha e a' bàsachadh?!" (Can thou not see that he is dying?!")_

"Ach a Ghandalf, tha mi...!" ("But Gandalf, I...!")  
"Tha sin uile gun cluinn mi bhuat! 'Ach a Ghandalf seo, ("That is all that I ever hear from thee!)  
Ach a Ghandalf sin. Tha mi sg�th dhe! ('But Gandalf this, but Gandalf that.' I am sick of it!")

"Ach a Ghandalf...!"

"DÙIN DO BHEUL DAMAICHTE, AMADAN BEAGAN!!!!!!  
GABH SEO!!!"  
("SHUT THY DAMNED MOUTH, THOU LITTLE FOOL!!!!!!  
TAKE THIS!!!")

"AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!" STÀD E! MA 'S E DO THOIL E!!!  
AAAAAAAHHHH!!! NA ÛRUK-HAI!!!!!! LE DO THOIL,  
A GHANDALF, CUIDICH MI...!!!!!! A MHERRIDH!!!!!!"

("STOP IT! PLEASE!!! THE ORCS!!!!!! PLEASE, GANDALF,  
HELP ME...!!!!!! MERRY!!!!!!")

Merry:

I heard him moaning and thrashing in his sleep.  
All of us had been having dreadful memories  
Of the War. We were home. We were safe once more...  
With our families and friends... in the Shire...  
But our freedom and victory cost us so much...

I rolled over to him and nudged him. He was crying  
And screaming, remembering our struggles...

"Fuist, a leannan. Bh'e aisling a-mhàin... (Hush, darling. 'T was a dream only...)  
Èirich suas, a leannan. Th'e ceart gu leòr..." (Rise up, darling. 'T is alright...")

Pippin:

My eyes shot open. I was gasping for breath...  
I saw him... he was alright...!

"O Mherridh...!"  
I burrowed into him, trembling as he rocked me  
In his arms...

Merry:

We would never be free of those memories...  
I did my best to comfort him, to try to ignore  
The burning in my heart, knowing that we could   
Not rid ourselves, less so with Pippin, of those  
Memories...I winced yet glowed as he sobbed my  
Name. He said it with such music, yet so sadly...

Pippin:

He asked no questions; he knew since the dreamed  
Of the same things. He simply held me...as I did the same  
When he needed it...I cherished the feel of his  
Arms around me...

Merry:

Days, months, years would go by after the War...  
In that time, we tried to be happy and vibrant, to the extent  
That we were before. And it worked for much of the time...

_-"Hi hi hi...!!! A Mherridh, stàd a' plubadaich mi!" ("...Merry, stop splashing me!")  
_  
_-"Uill, chan urrainn dhomh cuidich e, a Phippin, ach tha thu  
Cho measail gun tha thu a' rànadh a-muigh gu bi... 'gus bi diogailte!!!"  
("Well, I cannot help it Pippin, but thou art so adorable  
That thou art crying out to be...and tickled!!!")_

_-"AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! Hi hi hi hi!!! Gpt! AI!  
Stàd e! Hi hi hi...!!!!!!"_

We managed to escape  
The memories most of the time and got on with our lives...  
But we never could escape... Pippin had the worst of it.  
The poor dear. His sleep was so badly disturbed.  
Though we slept together and it helped, we both suffered  
Greatly...we were hit even harder when Frodo left...  
We knew that it was for the best, since he was hurt  
The most in the War...but we missed him terribly...

_-"Fhrodo, a bheil agad ri fàg sinn?" ("Frodo, must thou really leave us?") _  
Pippin had sobbed on that day...

_-"Th'agam ri...th'e gam chiùrradh cus... ("I must...it hurts too much...)  
Feumaidh mi thar na muirean dhol... (I must go over the seas...)  
Slànaichidh mi ma rach mi... (I will heal if I go...)  
'S mathaid cha till mi a-chaoidh..." (perhaps I shall never return...")_

His tone was hollow.__

I could hear Sam's heart breaking with every word...

_-"Ach Frodo, carson...? Chan eil thu cur roimh sin...!" ("But Frodo, why...? Thou mean that not...!")  
_  
_"Chaidh mi ri sàbhail an t-S�orrachd, ("I set out to save the Shire,)  
Agus tha i sàbhailte... ach chan eil dhomh..." (and it's been saved... but not for me...")  
_  
Those words went through Pippin and me  
Like daggers. Sam had broken down... as had Pippin...  
All of us...

Pippin:

It was as if he were dying; he was going to leave us,  
Never to see us again...I couldn't bear it...

Merry:

We all hugged and waved as Frodo boarded the ship  
With the Elves. As we watched them sail off from the harbor,  
I finally collapsed. Pippin and I just stood there with Sam,  
Held each other and cried...Sam perhaps hardest of all...  
I sobbed into Pippin's hair as we hugged...  
We had to guide Sam to the wagon...   
We would miss him terribly...

Pippin:

It hurt so much. Even Merry couldn't soothe my pain...  
I couldn't sleep at all that night. I felt like all that  
We knew was dying... all that we loved...  
Memory and regret stabbed at my heart, mind, and soul...

Merry:

I did my best to comfort him that night.  
I sang a lullaby to him...

Leigibh mi bi do smioralas (Let me be thy strength)  
Nuair tha thusa fann... (When thou art weak...)  
Leigibh mi bi do dheur (Let me be thy tear)  
Nuair chan urrainn (When thou cannot)  
Dhut chaoineadh... (Weep...)  
Leigibh mi bi do shlànaighear (Let me be thy healer)  
Nuair tha thu ciùrrte... (When thou art hurt...)  
Leigibh mi bi do shùil (Let me be thine eye)  
Nuair chan urrainn (When thou cannot)  
Dhut fhaicinn... (See...) 

Cho mòran gun dhèanainn (So much that I would do)  
Ort. Chan dhèanainn rud sam bith a' toirt (For thee. I would do nothing bringing)  
Acaid thugad, a leannain... (Pain to thee, darling...)

Th'ann saoghal mòr (There's a great world)  
Na h-acaid, is tha mi sona (Of pain, and I am happy)  
Gu bheil an glòir (That I have the glory)

Na t-slànaigheir agam... (Of a healer...)  
Annad is annam... (In thou and in me...)

Slànaichidh sinn (We will heal)  
Gach eile. Bheir mi neart thugad... (Each other. I will grant strength to thee...)  
Gabhaidh sinn pàirt an neart (We will share the strength)  
Còmhla, eadarsinn... (Together, between us...)


	7. The end of all things

Pippin: 

I'd laid back in Merry's lap one afternoon as we rested under a tree,

Just enjoying ourselves, and each others' company...

Merry:

We were getting older, though we still often acted

Like youths... I enjoyed Pippin cuddling up to me...

The singing of the birds... the soft trickling of the brook...

All was calm and serene... Pippin's hair soft to my hands...

Pippin:

It was a beautiful day, with so much beauty about us...

And I was with Merry...I was happy to have him holding

Me...but I felt very empty inside...like something

Was missing...I knew very well what...

I sighed...

Merry:

Something did not seem right when he sighed...

"Pippin, a leannain, dè tha 'n cuspair?"  
("Pippin, darling, what is the matter?")

Pippin:

I winced inwardly, but I answered...

"Th'ann cuimhne umainn...de Frodo...  
Th' ar pàrantan marbh...  
Fàgaidh Sam gu bi le Frodo...  
Tha h-uile rud a' dol bhuainn...  
A' fàgail cuimhn' a -mhàin...  
Chan urrainn dhomh e bheirsinn..."

("There are memories around us...  
Of Frodo... our parents are dead...  
Sam will leave to be with Frodo...  
Everything is going from us...  
Leaving memories only...  
I can't bear it...")

Merry:

I felt what he was saying. It felt very lonesome here  
In the Shire for me as well, even if I still had Pippin...

"Bidh sinn ceart gu leòr, a rùn, agus ch� sinn iad a-rithist..."

("We will be fine, love, and we will see them again...")

But how would I know? I missed them too, and the

Memories stung me as well. I regretted to know that

If Frodo had not been injured like he was, he would

Still be here. I stroked Pippin's hair, the russet color

Greying with age...and for the moment, I was content...

Pippin:

We held each other for a long time that afternoon.

And that night as well. I was happy that I had Merry...

But I felt age beginning to rear its angry head...

I felt weaker with each day that went by...

Merry:

We left for Minias Tirith several days later. There was

Nothing left for us there, in the Shire. All was gone.

But we didn't want to leave. We were abandoning

Nothing, yet we were abandoning so much. We wanted

To be buried with Aragorn at Minias Tirith, but we also

Wanted to die at home, where we were born...

Alas, we could not have both and our ties to Aragorn were greater...

_-"Chan eil mi 'g iarraidh fàgail..." ("I do not want to leave...")_

_-"Obh obh, feumaidh sinn, Pippin. Chan eil ann càil an-seo dhuinn...  
Na caoin, a ghaoil..." ("Alas, we must, Pippin. There is nothing for us here...  
Do not cry, love...")_

Pippin:

We left the Shire, for the last time.

It was the only home that we ever knew, but nothing

Was the same there anymore. It pained us more to

Know that we couldn't join Frodo and Sam over the sea...

Would we ever see them again? Perhaps we never would...

Merry:

Memories, both kind and harsh, arose as we rode.

Past Bree, Weathertop, and over the fields we rode...

Tears stung my eyes at Rivendell; deserted, ruined,

Where all was once a beauty...

Pippin:

We weren't as strong as we once were, but, after a time,

We arrived at Rohan. After we visited with Éomer, and

After we slept the night there, we continued on our way to

Gondor... and Minias Tirith...

Merry:

Aragorn was getting older, but he was still formidable,

And Arwen still a striking vision of Elvish beauty. For

So long we held each other, bonding again after so long apart...

There, in the white city, we would spend our remaining time...

I knew that death would come for al of us... but it still hurt...

All seemed over when Pippin died...

_-"Merridh... tha mi cuimhneachadh 'n t-s�orrachd..."  
("Merry... I remember the Shire...")_

Merry (cont.):

My heart was caught in my throat... I could say nothing at all...

_-"Tha mi 'g ionndrainn an t-s�orrachd... Frodo, Sam... uile duine... uile rud...  
("I miss the Shire... Frodo, Sam... everybody... everything...")_

_-"Tha mi fiosrach a bheil thu..." ("I know that you do...")_

_-"'S miann leam a b' urrainn dhuinn dhol air ais ri h-uile rud..._

_Cha do ghràdhaich mi h-uile duine gu leòr a-riamh..."  
("I wish that we could go back to everything... I never loved everyone enough...")_

_-"Fuist, a leannain... na bruidh'nn...! gabh fois..." ("Hush, my love... do not speak...! rest...")_

_- "A Mherridh...pòg mi... a leannain..." ("Merry...kiss me...my darling...")_

Merry:

I held his poor, broken body...it was true...he was gone...

All else seemed to disappear...I couldn't stop sobbing...

His burial done weeks ago...I couldn't go home to the Shire...

It would take too long for me to get there...

I saw that there were too many memories...

I saw that I couldn't stay there any longer...

But I would be leaving him...

It broke my heart to leave him behind...  
One last time...

So many mornings and nights, I would feel

Him in my arms... then it hit me all over...

But I would be buried with him someday...

Memories of Pippin and our experiences,  
Happy and tragic, seemed to echo in my mind...

_Carson a th'ann deuran (Why are there tears)  
Maiseachadh d'aghaidh? Na caoin, a leannain... (Adorning thy face? Do not weep, darling...)  
Bi treun. Cuimhnich gu bheil gaol agam dhut... (Be brave. Remember that I love thee...)  
Tha do ghuth anns a' ghaoth... (Thy voice is in the wind...)_

_-Th'ann cràdh 'nam chridh', a ghaoil... (There's pain within my heart, O love...)  
-Cuimhnich an t-sonas gun do chodaich sinn... (Remember the joys that we have shared...)  
An àit' de fada, gu luath bith sinn dlùth... (Instead of far, we will soon be near...)  
Cuimhnich gun sàbhail e sinn... (Remember that he will save us...)_

"Lorgaidh mi thu, a Phippin, m'aingeal...  
Fuirich dhomh..."

("I shalt find thee, Pippin, my angel...wait for me...")

Cha choisich thu (Thou won't walk)  
A-rithist air an t�r fodhainn... (Again on this earth beneath us...)  
Th'e f�or. Fuireach, a leannain, ('T is true. Waiting, dearest,)  
Ort anns a' ghaoth... (For thee in the wind...) 

"Caoinibh;" thuirt e... ("Weep;" he said...)  
"Chan eil olc ann deuran..." ("Tears are not evil...")  
Tha thu gam fhàgail... (Thou art leaving from me...)  
Agus bh'ann seasdar 'nad ghuth... (And there was comfort in thy voice...)  
Blàthan bàsachadh, (Dying flowers,)  
Thog iadsan am c�nn; (They lifted their heads;)  
Th'ann beatha annta... (There is life in them...)

Sèist: Chorus:  
Th'ann fhathast dòchas... (There's still hope...)  
Mòran beinntean a dh�rich mi... (Many mountains that I climbed...)  
Rathaidean a choisich mi... (Roads that I walked...)  
Dhut, dhèanainn iad a-rithist... (For thee, I would do them again...)

Chan eil mi fo amharas (I do not doubt)  
Gum coinnich sinn a-rithist... (That we will meet again...)  
Fanaidh mi do thilleadh... (I will await thy return...)

Gabh fois, a ghaoil... (Rest, my love...)  
Tha 'n bròn seachad oirnne... (The grief is over for us...)  
Th'ann s�th 'san saoghal... (There is peace in the world...)  
Tha h-uile sàbhailte... (All is saved...)

Ar cuirp, cumaidh 'n t�r... (Out bodies, the land will keep...)  
Ach bidh ar n-anman saorta... (But our souls will be free...)

Amhairc na beinnteann (Behold the mountains)  
Fodhainn a shiubhail sinn. A cheana, (Below us that we walked. Already,  
Th'iad seargadh 'r falbh... (They are fading away...)

An Deireadh (The End)...


End file.
